We’re required to remind you that these strong takes are SATIRE. Sorry, not sorry. All spelling errors are intentional, we think. — The editor.
Wellcome to the Monday Morning BM, just a word of warning your probably not prepared to handle the strong football takes and barrelfire NFL truths that you never knew your Mondays were missing. This column is written for and by a REAL fan of the NFL. Its designed to be read on your Monday Morning commode break after a long Sunday eating bad-for-you food and drinking beers. If you care more about SPELLING then you do about TELLING theres the door because this columns not for you.
In a league where the only constant is change, its nice to be able to rely on familar things like the mailman, the paperboy, and Elite QBs winning in the playoffs. This wild-card weekend went to all the familar names, as Aaron Rogers, Russell Wilson, Ben Rothlisberger, and the guy who wasnt Brian Hoyer all outlasted their inferior counterparts.
Another constant is that Robert Griffin III can not win when it counts. Griffin has two division titles, and zero playoff wins just like Andy Dalton, but for some reason we dont talk about him the same way because of PC. But in realty (where I live), its a safe space free from excuses. Theres such a thing as “intangibles”, and they have very real implicatons on the outcomes of games. Whether its Griffins will to win, or his abilty to detect a pass rush- RG3 has allways struggled when it comes to things he can neither see nor feel.
Some of you will think your being cute, and point to the fact that Jay Gruden benched him, and that its unfair to blame him for Washingtons second half collapse in a game that he didnt even play in. Well I would ask you to show me the part of the Neuremberg trials where they let every war criminal off because he was just following orders. And Frankly, Griffins terrible record in big games as a backup has him looking alot more like the second coming of Reich then the third.
By remaning on the bench quietly he is endorsing Jay Grudens decision-making. A real leader would be standing on the table screaming to get in the game, not hobknobbing with his teammates on the sideslines wearing street clothes. If he were innocent of being bad wouldnt he want the opportunty to testify instead of hiding in silence? What would he have to hide?